That god-awful dinner party
by Fezzes
Summary: One-shot of a conversation that takes place just after the dinner party referenced by Harvey and Donna in episodes 2.09 and 4.15.


Disclaimer: I don't own "Suits" or its characters.

 _A few days ago, Sarah Rafferty asked the fans on Twitter what they thought Donna's backstory was like. Apart from having joined Donna and Harvey for a dinner party with a "boyfriend" and Harvey spitting shrimp into her hair, nothing has ever been said about her mother. This gives me the feeling she does not play a big role in Donna's life anymore. Here's my take on who Donna's mother could be. You may notice English isn't my first language, so you're welcome to help fix whatever errors you might find. Thank you._

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"How two happy-go-lucky people like your parents managed to raise a somewhat level-headed daughter like you I'll never know!" Harvey groans as he makes himself comfortable on his secretary's living room couch as Donna closes the door behind her mother and current 'stepfather-to-be'.

"Did you just say _somewhat_ level-headed?" she asks, dropping on the couch next to him, exhaustion evident on her face.

"Well, compared to you mother, you are way out of her league." he grins.

"Maybe I'm just overcompensating for their shortcomings. I love them dearly, I really do, but sometimes I just wanna-", she breaks off making a strangling motion with her hands.

"Throttle them? If I were you I'd have been a full orphan at sixteen." Harvey gets up and collects their wine glasses and the half-empty bottle of red wine from the dining table. "So what do you think about potential stepfather number what-was-it? 4? 5?" he asks, refilling the glasses and handing one over to Donna.

"Nah, I don't think she'll go as far this time." Donna reasons.

"That's what you said last time and you still made me go to their wedding as your plus one."

"Hey, Lucas owned his own whiskey distillery. I thought I was doing you a favor." Donna replies, remembering her mother's last wedding three years ago. The marriage had lasted a full total of 18 months.

"They _had_ good scotch at the reception." Harvey sighs "and I was stuck at the bar because all of your mother's bridesmaids weren't yet legal."

"Psh. You already had the hottest date in the room mister. I think my mother was just trying to make a not so subtle statement about my age and not-so-married status after I refused to be her bridesmaid yet _again."_

"I don't see where being married and divorced four times is in any way better than being picky about your first choice of spouse. You were her bridesmaid? When?"

"Wedding two and three."

"Did she make you wear those poufy dresses as well?"

"It was the nineties. I looked like a meringue. And no, you'll never get to see the pictures."

Harvey gives Donna a challenging smile before taking another sip from his wine glass. "I'll just ask your mother the next time I'll see her. Which will probably be on her wedding day."

"I don't think so. Did you see the eye-roll when what's-his-name told you about his work? An insurance broker isn't wealthy enough for my mom to go through the trouble of marrying him. By the way, good dodge when she started asking _you_ about _your_ income as my boss." Donna grins. "She would have dropped that douche like a hot potatoe if you told her what you make as a junior partner."

"That flirty look on your mother's face gave me the creeps." Harvey shudders.

"You tell me! For a moment there I was afraid she'd considered you to be my step-daddy number 3. Now _that_ would have been awkward."

"Well thanks for that deflecting joke. The piece of shrimp in her hair at least took my mind of her flirty advances."

"Couldn't you just keep your food to yourself? I was so mortified she'd notice." Donna says giving Harvey a mock condescending look.

"Did she leave with it still stuck in her hair?" Harvey grins at the thought.

"Well I tried to discreetly dispose of it as we were walking to the door, but she kept moving her head around." Donna sighs.

Harvey makes a face. "Does your mom realize that no one has been wearing their hair like that for at least the past 20 years?"

"She thinks it's keeping her young." Donna says finishing her glass.

"Says the woman who on her employment record sheet not so apologetically made the 72 look like a 77 while writing down her birthdate."

"My pen slipped." Donna quips grinning.

"Well you and your mother _do_ look like sisters, so I get were you got your age insecurities from." Harvey teases. Some part of what he said was true, at least. Looking at Donna's mother was like getting a glimpse of what Donna herself would probably look like 25 years from now – the face, the strawberry blonde hair, Donna truly was a younger image of her mom - if you overlooked the big hair, excessive jewelry and bad fashion choices. No, Donna's ever right on-the-spot kind of style wasn't something she could have inherited from her mother.

"Say that again and I'll make you eat those words!" Donna threatens.

"It was your mother who said it first and if I wasn't so scared about her actually taking a liking to me, I would have gladly replied 'Oh why, Roberta, you _both_ don't look a day over fif-'" The pillow Donna throws hits him right in the face.

"You're an idiot." She says.

"I wouldn't be here if I weren't. Your mother is-"

'Insufferable. I know. She's still family, though." Donna trails off, lost in thought.

"That's why I'm here. God knows I don't have anything more functional to show for when it comes to families." Harvey shrugs, finishing his glass as well.

"Marcus isn't so bad." Donna says, softly. "And thanks for doing this. I know this isn't your idea of a fun Friday night."

"Friday night with my Girl Friday and her nutty mom? I've had worse." Harvey smiles, getting up from the couch.

"Well, your Girl Friday will see you bright and early on Monday morning." Donna returns the smile while she gets up to collect his coat.

"Still, I had a good time tonight. 'Night Donna." He says softly before moving towards the front door, Donna following behind.

"Goodnight Harvey." She softly replies before closing the door behind him.


End file.
